Author: Morgan

Rating: PG-13 - Implied sex, but nothing you wouldn't see on television, if the editing was done correctly . Of course, that's getting pretty explicit lately.

Summary: What happened after Lee saved Amanda?

Spoilers: Odds on a Dead Pigeon

Disclaimer: I do not owned the rights to these characters and am making no profit from this story. I am borrowing them with love and respect.

Author's notes: This was one of my favorite episodes, I guess because Kate got to behave so differently. The other day I was thinking, 'What if?'

Lee held Amanda in relief, both of them trembling from the narrow escape. Involuntarily, he looked over the edge and saw the broken body of Amanda's"twin". His grip tightened. In some part of his mind he was aware he was probably leaving bruises, but Amanda made no protest. Instead, she burrowed her face tighter against Lee's neck.

After a few moments he released Amanda. Cradling her face between his hands, he looked deep into her eyes. Lee blinked. Something was wrong. Amanda looked away. He tried to get her to look at him, but she averted her face. Lee caught a glimpse of a tear running down her cheek. Her pulled her to him again.

"Amanda, I'm sorry. I need you to hold on for just a little longer. I'll tie Gordon up, but I need you to watch him while I go call Billy. Can you do that for me?"

Amanda nodded, still not speaking. Lee led her over to where Gordon lay, unconscious. Looking around the area he found a roll of electrical tape among the construction materials. Lee rolled Gordon onto his stomach and taped his hands together behind his back. Pulling him over to one of the support beams, Lee put Gordon's legs around it and taped his ankles together.

Lee went back to Amanda. "If he happens to come to before I get back, he won't be able to get loose. Just stay here and wait for me while I call Billy. Okay?"

Amanda nodded. Lee pulled her to him for another hug, kissed her on the forehead, then turned to go down the stairs.

******

Twenty minutes later, Billy and Francine pulled up to a scene of hectic activity. Police officers were leading Gordon down the last flight of stairs while a team from the coroners' office was loading a body into an ambulance. Francine gasped and Billy turned his attention to where she was looking. The body on the stretcher was Amanda!

A movement had him turning his head. Lee stood across the lot talking to a police officer, his arms protectively around a dark haired woman, one hand keeping her face turned away from the ambulance and it's cargo. Billy hurried over to him.

"Lee, what happened to....." he trailed off in shock as the woman in Lee's arms turned to face him. "Amanda?" he finished weakly.

"Billy, can you take over? I need to get Amanda out of here." Billy nodded and followed as Lee led Amanda over to his car. After seating her in the passengers' area, Lee turned back to Billy and quickly explained the situation. "I'll bring her in later for de-briefing, she's holding on by a thread right now. I need to get her someplace quiet and let her get it all out in private."

"Take as long as she needs. Let me know later if she's up to coming in today or wants to wait until tomorrow."

"Thanks, Billy." Lee circled the car, got in and drove away.

Billy walked over to the ambulance and spoke to the attendant. "When you get the body to the morgue run a set of prints and have them sent to my office. We need to start the identification process on this woman as soon as possible."

******

As he drove to his apartment, Lee glanced anxiously at Amanda. She was sitting quietly in the in the seat, her face averted. He was so accustomed to her cheerful chatter that the silence was unnerving.

"Amanda, if it's okay with you I thought we'd go to my place for a while. It would give you a chance to relax a bit before you pick your mother and the boys up at the hotel." Silence. He took his hand from the wheel and laid it gently on her knee. "Amanda? Okay?"

She gave a small nod and he heard a choked "Okay." The remainder of the drive was silent.

Lee opened the door to his apartment and led Amanda over to the sofa. "You sit here and relax. I'll go make us some tea." He looked at her, but got no response. She's in shock, he thought, I'd better put a lot of sugar in the tea. He stayed in the kitchen until the water boiled, then brought two cups of tea back into the living room. Sitting on the sofa, he placed the cups on the coffee table.

Lee turned to Amanda, putting one hand on her shoulder, turning her face toward him with the other. She gave him one tear-drenched look, then burrowed against his chest, sobbing. He pulled her across his lap, cradling her in his arms, rocking her gently. "It's okay. Just let it out. I'm here, you're safe." He ran one hand soothingly up and down her back.

After a few minutes, the crying ceased, but Amanda continued to cling tightly to Lee, her breath coming in little hiccuping gasps. Suddenly she leaned back, looking up into Lee's face.

"He told me she killed those other men. He told me she was going to kill you. All the time I was there, I was waiting for her to show up and tell him you were dead. He told me we were both going to die, and all I could think about was the fact that I had never told you how I feel about you. I love you, Lee."

Lee stared at her for a shocked moment, then pulled her to him for a deep kiss. He broke off the kiss and pulled back to look at her. "Oh, Amanda," he moaned, and kissed her again. The next few minutes were a blur of hungry, desperate kisses and feverish caresses.

The next clear moment came when Lee realized that, somehow, Amanda was sitting astride his lap and they were both naked from the waist up. Her hands were roaming over his sides and back and she was pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses to his chest. Lee drew a deep breath, trying to clear his head.

"Amanda, sweetheart, wait a minute." He pushed her back slightly, keeping his eyes firmly on her face. "You're not thinking clearly. This is just a result of our close call this morning."

Amanda slumped over, crossing her arms defensively over her breasts. "I'm so embarrassed. You don't feel the same way."

Lee tried to raise her face, but she kept it determinedly lowered. He pulled her back into a close embrace, enjoying the silky feel of her smooth skin. "Amanda, I think that it's pretty obvious that I feel the same way. It took both of us to get to this stage." He arched his hips up, pressing his arousal against her, and whispered hotly in her ear, "Feel what you do to me. I have wanted you for so long, but I was afraid."

Amanda relaxed against him, her arms curling up around his neck. "What were you afraid of?"

"I was afraid of what I felt for you, and I was afraid that you wouldn't believe me. When we first met I had many different women in my life. You saw a side of me that I'm ashamed of now. I wasn't sure how I was going to convince you that my intentions were serious. You're different, special. You're Amanda. I don't know how else to say it."

"If you feel the same as I do, why do you want to stop?"

"Because this is the wrong time. We're both still upset over what happened earlier. When we take this step I want to be sure that it's what we both want, and that it's for the right reasons."

Amanda's hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Lee, it's sweet that you are trying to protect me, but it seem pretty obvious that we both want this, and what better reason could we have than that we are both still alive." She pressed a kiss under his ear. "I almost died today, Lee. You work in a very dangerous job. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, we might not have this chance again."

Lee gave a shuddering sigh, and then without a word he stood and carried her into the bedroom. Just as he placed Amanda on the bed, the phone rang. Amanda pulled him down into a passionate kiss. "Don't answer that." Lee's response was to settle himself over her, returning the kiss. Ignored, the phone continued to ring in the background.

******************

Billy replaced the receiver on its cradle exchanging a worried look with Francine. "No answer. No answer at Amanda's house either. Where else would he go?"

"What did he say to you when he left?"

"All he said was that he was going someplace quiet so she could work through what happened in private. We have to find him, Francine." In an unusual loss of control, Billy picked the stapler up from his desk and threw it across the room. "Where did he go!"

Startled, Francine took a step back a concerned look on her face. "Billy, what if they are at his place, but he unplugged the phone so it wouldn't bother them?"

"Francine, you take a team to Amanda's house and I'll check out Lee's apartment. Let's hope you're right and they are at one place or the other."

The two left Billy's office, gathering agents from the bullpen to form their teams.

*********************

Lee lay in the afternoon sunlight, almost asleep. He gazed down at the brown curls nestled on his chest. Her head lifting, Amanda smiled up at him. Lee frowned slightly. Something about her eyes . . .

Amanda sat up, her face in the sunlight, obscuring her eyes. "I need to get a drink of water." Lee started to sit up, but she gently pushed him back down. "Don't get up, I'll be right back." He relaxed against the pillow, his mind going back over recent events. Part of him was glad that he and Amanda had taken the next step in their relationship, but another part was still telling him that something was wrong. That look in her eyes . . .

Damnit! Of course her eyes would look strange. Amanda has always had expressive eyes, and she has had a very rough couple of days, ending with dangling off a ledge twelve stories above the ground and seeing 'herself' dead. He was still upset himself, and he was a professional! He was just seeing things that weren't really there. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Amanda, dressed in his shirt, standing in the doorway. Turning his head to look at her, he started to rise from the bed, halting in shock when he noticed the gun in Amanda's hand.

His heart started pounding as his mind finally caught up with what his instincts had been trying to tell him. The look in her eyes, just like in the hospital room.

She wasn't Amanda! But if she wasn't Amanda, that meant . . . "NO!!!!!!" Lee launched himself at the woman across the room, but was knocked to the floor as she calmly shot him in the shoulder.

"I had a very interesting talk with Gordon while you were off calling Billy. He agreed with me that it would be a much better revenge to let you live knowing that you were the one who killed your precious Amanda." Picking up a discarded towel she carefully wiped her fingerprints off the gun, placing it on the dresser. "I better be going, that phone call was probably the others trying to tell you that they had identified the body. I'm sure they'll be here any minute now." She left the room.

Lee's one thought was to not let her get away. He began pulling himself along the carpet, determined to get his gun. Reaching the dresser, he found that his left arm was useless and he couldn't put any weight on his left shoulder to brace himself while he used his right arm. He tried maneuvering around to put his back against the drawers and sit up, but his head was spinning from blood loss. He collapsed back to the floor.

Through a pain filled haze he heard someone crossing the carpet. That thing with Amanda's face leaned over him. "I was right, you are a good lover. Too bad your Amanda never got to find out for herself." As his vision dimmed he saw her turn and leave the apartment. The last sound he heard before slipping into darkness was the closing of the door.

******************

"NO!!!!!!" Lee was disoriented at finding himself sitting in a darkened bedroom instead of the hospital he expected. Trying to catch his breath and ease the pounding of his heart, he examined his surroundings. There was movement beside him and a cool hand touched his arm as a sleepy voice asked, "Lee, is something wrong?"

Turning, Lee gazed at the woman lying in the bed next to him. Wavy brown hair tousled from sleep, and beautiful brown eyes that belonged to the woman who was the other half of his soul. "Amanda!" he moaned and pulled her up into his arms. He buried his face in her neck, shaking in reaction.

Amanda rocked him gently, running her hand soothingly up and down his back. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Lee drew a shuddering breath and pulled back to frame her face in his hands. "Nothing. It was just a bad dream." He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it wasn't very successful.

"It must have been. Lee, we've been married three years and I've never seen you so shaken by a dream before. What was it about?"

He ran a hand through his hair, avoiding her eyes. "Nothing in particular, just a bad dream."

"Lee."

He rose from the bed and crossed over to the window. Gazing out at the peaceful night, he tried to settle his rioting emotions. He heard Amanda leave the bed and move behind him. Her arms came around his waist and she moved to his side. They stood together in silence.

"Remember when Billy called earlier?"

"That's right, he called just before dinner. After Jamie told his news about winning the photo contest, I forgot. What did he want?"

"Gordon Reddig died today. Heart attack."

Amanda drew a quick breath. "Karen Brinkman."

"Yeah."

"I had bad dreams at the time, but Lee that was six years ago. Why tonight?"

"I guess hearing about Gordon just brought it all back." Lee tightened his arms.

"The dream tonight was a little different." He stopped abruptly.

"How was tonight different?" Amanda waited for a few minutes, then prompted him gently. "Sweetheart?"

"It started out the same as before. The two of you are hanging from the edge of the building. I'm trying to tell which is the real you, but you don't say 'Oh, my gosh' like you really did, and I have to decide on my own. I choose and pull one of you up and the other falls before I can pull her up. Then the one I had saved would laugh and tell me I chose the wrong one and she would push me off the building. As least that's how it always went before." Lee paused, drew a deep breath, then continued.

"Tonight, it was went the same way until the point where I pulled one of you up. Then things happened like it really did, until the point where we were at my apartment and I made you a cup of tea. Instead of talking, like we did that day, she started crying and I tried to comfort her." Lee stopped again. Amanda waited, knowing that whatever was coming next was what was really bothering him.

"She kissed me, and things rapidly got out of control. I ended up taking her into the bedroom and we made love. I remember thinking that something wasn't right, that you wouldn't act that way, but I wanted you too much to really question it. After, she got up saying she needed a drink of water. She come back into the bedroom and shot me, taunting me with the fact that I had chosen her. She said that she and Gordon had decided that it would be a better kind of revenge to let me live knowing that I had been the one that killed you." He stopped again, shuddering with the memory of the dream.

"This isn't really about that, it's about what almost happened last week, isn't it?"

Lee nodded. "I've always felt that I was doing my part in keeping the world safe, that I had an obligation to do so because I'm good at what I do. And I know that you feel the same way, that you are proud of what you do. But, Amanda, we've made a lot of enemies and last week was just a sample of what could happen again if we remain field agents." He turned away from her. "I think we really need to talk about the latest offer I've had from the State Department."

He faced her again and rested his hand gently on her abdomen. "I still want the world to be a safe place, now more than ever, but I think it's time for someone else to take the risks. I want to be around to see our child grow up. Besides, you know that once Billy knows, he's going to pull you off field duty."

Amanda's hand joined Lee's. "I was talking to Billy today; I didn't say anything about the baby; we agreed to do that together, and he mentioned that Stan Davis was retiring. Some of the things he said makes me feel that he is going to offer us Station One." She raised her other hand to caress his cheek. "If he does, I think we should take it. You're right, I am proud of my job. I feel that I've made a difference, and I want to keep making a difference, even if I can't be in the field. Being in charge of Station One would take us out of the field, reducing the risks, but it isn't a desk job. My being pregnant wouldn't be a factor, because the instructor's involvement can be anything from full participation in the exercises to just standing around with a clipboard taking notes. We would still be making a difference, training future agents. I don't think Billy would have a problem with us remaining partners, and you know that I don't like the idea of anyone else watching your back. The job at State would be just for you, not both of us, and would be a total desk job. That would drive you crazy."

Lee gave her a gentle hug, then led her back to the bed. "What did I ever do to deserve you? You're right, a desk job would drive me up the wall. Station One would be a great compromise, as long as it's both of us. I don't trust anyone else to watch my back either."

The two laid back down on the bed, Amanda putting her head on Lee's shoulder. "I think we should tell mother and the boys about the baby at breakfast, and tell Billy as soon as we get to work. No more secrets."

Lee kissed the top of her head. "No more secrets. I love you, Amanda Stetson."

He pulled back to kiss her, but saw that she had already fallen asleep. He smiled, she was so tired lately. The baby book that he read and Amanda's memories of her previous pregnancies had said that this was natural for the first trimester. If everything else the book said was right, he could hardly wait for the second trimester.

Thank God he had made the right choice eight years ago when he picked her out of a crowd at the train station and six years ago on that ledge. Lee again whispered, "I love you, Amanda Stetson" and drifted off to sleep.