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Author: kingmissy

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Very short filler scene for "Utopia Now," Amanda’s POV

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, and I don’t make money from them.

Author's Note: Not cheerful, but you know it all worked out in the end

Feedback: Constructive criticism welcome. Please limit flames to off-list e-mail.

Archive: smkfanfic, others please ask

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Take deep breaths, Amanda told herself. Get as much oxygen as you can, as much rest as you can, before we start moving again. Though her pulse slowed, she couldn’t stop her thoughts from racing.

She glanced over at Lee Stetson, crouched next to her in the shelter of the small grove of saplings. He was far less winded than she was. He seemed to be listening for any sound that might indicate Sacker’s men were nearby.

I’m slowing us down, Amanda thought. I need this break much more than Lee does, and he’s taking a chance by letting me catch my breath. Of course, chained together as we are, he can’t go any faster than I can. But even without the manacles, I know Lee would never leave me behind.

If this were a poker game, Amanda wondered, how much would Lee wager on our getting out alive? She knew she didn’t have the training and field experience that he did, but to her, their odds of survival looked small indeed. Sacker had so many men, men with military and paramilitary experience, and vehicles, and communication equipment, and an arsenal of sophisticated weapons. She and Lee had nothing but each other. They were tired, and hungry, and cold, and their progress was hampered by the manacles that bound them together. If this were a poker game, Amanda thought, I’d fold.

She studied Lee’s face, trying unsuccessfully to gauge whether he considered their situation hopeless. No wonder I hear gossip about him winning in poker games with other agents, she thought. Scarecrow, the agent, and Stetson, the card player, have great poker faces.

What about Lee, my friend? Maybe I could just ask him what he thinks. But she quickly rejected the idea. I could ask him, Amanda thought, but I don’t think he’d tell me the truth.

I don’t think he’d tell me the truth because he wants to protect me from being afraid.

I don’t think he’d tell me the truth because if he admitted how bad things are, maybe I’d just give up. Maybe he would too. Maybe we would stop running and let Sacker’s men catch us and shoot us.

At the thought, she blinked back tears.

Maybe we can’t even let ourselves think about how improbable it is that we’ll survive.

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